"Inventing Situations Page 1 (2003)"

BlakHangover1: There goes Helen Keller, answering the kettle again!	KotaNewYear!: ...and a bunch of "Asso's" they ARE, too...	CrazyBob: Hi boys and girls. Fire Marshall Frank here. Before we get started with our cartoons, did you know that sometimes, a big strong fireman likes to wear women's underwear?
CrazyBob: Gramma, you've only had two dacqiris and you're already talking about grampa's premature ejaculation problem.	CrazyBob: Initiate headspinning/projectile vomiting sequence in 5… 4… 3.… 2...	CrazyBob: ....brrrrp....*snore*... oh, Mr. Matlock.... this is all so sudden.... oh my goodness.... YOU sure don't have a premature ejaculation problem...*snore... zzzzzzzz*
cambria36: The jig's up, Ralph… the baby looks exactly like you.	Racerex: "Well, if you can't order the Fabio Swimsuit Calendar for me, then I'll just have to find a mercantile that can!"	shanky: "Of course, our beauty prducts come fully guaranteed. But, you really weren't starting with much."
shanky: "Play something *bouncy*! I'm doing my sex education homework!"	Racerex: By the time Mr. white hit Step #7, he killed himself out of sheer boredom....	LauraPowers85: Mr. White's turn-ons: White paper, white secretaries, and white-hot Christian sex.
Loodvig: Ann Arbor's Naked Mile, circa 1958.	shanky: "You're HERE and she's out with another guy. What are you gonna do about it?"	LauraPowers85: .oO(I want Beaver, but not *that* Beaver.... if I tell Beaver I want Beaver he may take it the wrong way.... Oh I'm *so* confused!)
DangerKitty: "Hairy palms? In my day it was Rosie Palm and her 5 daughters."	Cappy-New-Year-weird-1.com: Land so flat, you can actually see the earth curve	NewYearsDai: Ew. Must suck to have a minature Rosanne Barr for a papoose...